Johnnie Aycock, the host of the Noon Show on Catfish 100.1 and the longtime former president and CEO of the Chamber of Commerce of West Alabama, is a contributing columnist for the Thread. The Entrepreneurial Community: An Editorial will look at the people, institutions and ideas that shape this corner of the state and be published every Monday.
Lollygagging was once a humble pastime practiced by children avoiding chores and adults who suddenly developed hearing problems when someone mentioned yardwork. We have since professionalized it—and government may have perfected it.
The scientific method begins by identifying a problem everyone has discussed for 20 years. Officials announce that "something must be done," then form a committee to determine what "something" means.
Next, commission a study. If it recommends action, order another study to determine whether the first study was studied sufficiently.
Schedule hearings. Invite experts. Display charts. Express concern. If television cameras appear, express deep concern. Then lean toward the microphone and announce, "Let me make this perfectly clear"—the customary prelude to several minutes in which nothing becomes clearer.
Develop a strategic plan featuring stakeholder engagement, community alignment and moving forward. Moving forward, however, should never be confused with actually going anywhere.
When progress stalls, blame the previous administration. When that explanation expires, blame the other party. If responsibility comes dangerously close to being assigned, announce that "productive conversations are continuing."
Lollygagging may be America's greatest bipartisan achievement. Republicans, Democrats and independents can all postpone a difficult decision with remarkable efficiency. Eventually, place the final report on a shelf beside the previous final report. Five years later, hire a consultant to update both.
It would all be hilarious if delay were free. It is not. While we deliberate, roads deteriorate, costs increase, businesses look elsewhere and public confidence disappears.
Planning and public participation matter. But sometimes delay dresses itself as diligence, indecision puts on a necktie, and avoidance schedules a press conference. The cure probably does not require another committee.
It may require something far more radical: making a decision—and accepting responsibility for it.
Oh to be able to enjoy lollygagging again.
The Entrepreneurial Community: An Editorial appears regularly on the Tuscaloosa Thread. Aycock and his co-host Lisa Jones can be heard on the Noon Show on Catfish 100.1 every weekday from 12 to 1 p.m.
Gallery Credit: (Stephen Dethrage | Tuscaloosa Thread)